Video Games

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake Review

Whether I’m enjoying a favorite meme or revisiting one of the few cartoons that still makes me laugh into adulthood, it’s hard to underestimate the impact SpongeBob SquarePants has had on my life. Throughout, the porous goofballs I’ve known for years feel like the perfect mascot for an over-the-top cartoonish platformer. It proved possible, but we urgently needed a modern interpretation of the idea starring everyone’s favorite fryer. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake drained my optimism the more I played it. This is just a plain straight forward sequel to his Bikini Bottom from 20 years ago, not from scratch. We deserve a redesign that absorbs the progress that genre heroes like Mario and Ratchet and Clank have made over the decades. So while Cosmic Shake benefits from the quirky SpongeBob character and world, as a platformer, it’s been a blast despite the fact that fans of the show, which ended eight years ago, continue to age (painfully). It’s a terribly dull journey that seems to be frozen in time.

As I’ve come to expect from this delightful Spongebob, the story kicks off when he makes a series of extremely unwise decisions, causing the very fabric of his bikini bottoms to be ripped at the seams. A determined SpongeBob and a newly transformed balloon version of Patrick start flying around portals, looking for friends and fighting the same jelly monsters. Running around or not, it’s just a small veiled excuse to revisit a memorable SpongeBob episode. Or a memorable Spongebob story that can stand on its own.

That nostalgic indulgence is greatly aided by the appearance of so many recognizable characters voiced by the original voice actors, including SpongeBob, Patrick, Pearl, Flying Dutchman, Mr. Krabs, and more. they are part of it. Seeing Mr. Krabs as a western bandito and Pearl as a medieval fantasy princess made me laugh. Likewise, every realm you visit along the way is a colorful, vibrant, cartoonish reimagining of the world of SpongeBob and his friends. There’s also a great loading screen with a classic French voice saying “one hour later” and an all-too-detailed close-up image of a character that makes you cringe, both great nods to the show.

It’s shocking how little the formula has changed.


It’s been almost 20 years since the release of SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom. It’s also been a little over two years since the “Rehydrated” remaster reminded him of how poorly degraded the game’s mechanics are. One of his most boring platformers in recent memory, Cosmic Shake offers almost the same recipe as its predecessor and leaves you nodding your head while playing. Jumping terribly simplistic His puzzles and combat with the same handful of enemies who posed no challenge soon faded. Certainly special things like double jumping, ground pounding, using pizza boxes to glide through gaps, attacking with bubble wands, activating contextual prompts to kick enemies with karate, or swinging a fishing line but its toolbox is very light and never exposes you to situations (mandatory or optional) that require you to master these skills. After the first few hours of the 10-hour campaign, I had to see just about every trick up Cosmic Shake’s sleeve and push through mediocre platforming and combat. nausea.

Every level jumps through several figurative and literal hoops, split by waves of enemies that can be easily defeated in seconds before returning to the platform. Variety is a big issue, both in combat and in the “puzzles” that the platforming offers, and even when you’re traveling through pirate-themed realms and Hollywood movie sets, you’ll find the same pushover purple enemies. Or jump onto the same floating rectangle. Even when you do get some special sequences, like the chase scene above the seahorse or a very short stealth section, it’s either incredibly short-lived or barely different from the rest of the grind, which helps keep things interesting .

The only unique moment comes at the end of each level when you fight bosses like the evil squirrel Sandy in a Bruce Lee costume…more than the rest of the tedious trek.

It’s not that Cosmic Shake’s controls or ideas are poorly implemented, but that it doesn’t really learn much more interesting things from modern platformers. For example, it doesn’t have the highly entertaining gymnastics platforming feat found in Psychonauts 2, or the unique and ridiculous combat options. Instead, it plays like the forgettable half-baked platformers I’ve played over the past two decades, and its shocking lack of creativity in an underwater world known for its hilarious originality makes the whole thing heart-pounding. As a result, playing Cosmic Shake made me feel like I was wearing a high-quality SpongeBob costume to attend a costume party, but instead of joking around, I was wearing it. I was forced to do excruciatingly boring chores. It’s only entertaining in a charming disguise that accompanies an otherwise boring experience.

There are already many good platformers out there, even for kids.


I know Cosmic Shake was almost certainly designed with kids in mind, and I’m sure kids who haven’t played many better games will have no problem enjoying it, but I can’t imagine children. I know you enjoy this as much as you enjoy Super Mario Odyssey. There are already plenty of great kid-friendly platformers out there in 2023, and aside from having SpongeBob’s face, Cosmic Shake doesn’t give you any reason to play this among the multitude of choices. , regardless of age, you can only happily hit the same three types of enemies, or double-jump over the same gap over and over until you get tired of it.

In addition to completing the main storyline, Cosmic Shake also allows you to complete several optional collections and progress through some side quests. Most aren’t worth the effort, like the one side quest to cook crabby patties for a hungry fish in a short minigame. It has been. Some of them hide interesting secrets or areas that can only be accessed later. .

Related Articles

Back to top button