These conventional wisdoms do not encourage employers to embrace multigenerational workplaces. It is unfair and I would like to see more relief. I hope you find a great new employer who will accept everything you bring to the organization.
middle school never really ends
A few years ago, a colleague who I didn’t know very well, but who I considered a friend, invited me to his house for dinner. What I thought was a fun social night turned out to be a setup to extract information from me, which was quickly shared without my permission.
Since then, our relationship has cooled off. My colleagues’ efforts to exclude me from social gatherings and to let me know that I am excluded have recently escalated to middle school level absurdity. That includes consistently scheduling events on days I’ve said I won’t be able to attend, and whispering with other colleagues about upcoming plans when I’m right there. I’m starting to feel quite lonely in a workplace that used to feel very harmonious. Any advice?
I believe that this colleague will probably get another job in a few years, so I am tempted to ride this out, not knowing how responding to this provocation will pay off.
– Anonymous
It’s amazing how many people deal with petty afflictions at work. Not surprising given that I work in academia, a bastion of pitfalls, but still… this is a strange and unfortunate situation. I won’t tell you what the nature of the information they brought out of you is, or if anything caused a drastic change in the behavior of your friendly colleague, so we’ll know what’s going on here. is difficult.
Waiting a few years is probably the most practical and frictionless way to go, but it’s a long time to feel isolated at work. Why do other colleagues agree with this? There are more questions than answers, but you should stand up for yourself. Point out that your colleague is scheduling an event even though you have made it clear that you will be away. Make your own plan with your colleagues. Meet the absurdity and absurdity, if necessary.
corporate theft
I work for a non-profit organization with over 800 employees. Salaries aren’t great, but retirement plan contributions are matched 2:1, which is important. The organization was reorganized last year and the management of the retirement plan changed. I didn’t get matched because I couldn’t donate for a month.
I was told that I could get a match at the end of the year if I compensated for that month’s amount. It’s been over a year since then and no one has received a match. The human resources department blamed the company that manages the retirement plan and said it was working on a fix. I feel like a wage thief if my retirement payment is delayed for more than a year. People have left the organization and I suspect they will never be a match. Even if it’s a few hundred dollars, is it worth getting upset about this when you can’t even use it until decades later?
– Anonymous
This is certainly some kind of theft, even if it was unintentional. Hundreds of dollars are important to most people, especially if the money will accrue interest over time. Your ex-colleagues will never see the money unless they track the payment, which I’m sure the organization knows.
Those still working there should continue to raise this issue. You owe money, and if the situation were reversed and you owe the organization, it would best be believed that management would do everything in its power to collect it.
You have to adjust how angry you are about this, how much you escalate the problem, how much you care. This probably doesn’t require a scorched-earth approach, but you can ask HR for more details on how the company is tackling this issue and timelines for resolution. Keep doing this until you receive the money you owe.
Write to Roxanne Gay at the following address: workfriend@nytimes.com.
