Solution for Toxic Colleagues: Boundaries
I started working for a streaming company and soon felt friction and tension with my manager and colleagues. Many of them have worked together in various companies for about 20 years. I felt that their way of working and their way of working was outdated and meaningless. I questioned the process and policy and tried to suggest ways to improve it. All my suggestions were shut down immediately, especially with one colleague. The colleague had been with the company for the longest time and was immediately defensive. I also learned that she criticized me for her other colleagues. She feels like she has helped people form premature opinions about me that don’t fit my personality or represent my work. (This colleague is a white woman, I’m a black woman, and her assistant, who is also a black woman, also notes that she told me the terrible things she said behind me. is needed.)
Some other people have joined the company since I started, and I’m also seeing behavioral problems with this particular colleague. I tried to discuss my concerns with her, and she lights me up or is not responsible for her actions. I also talked in detail about this with our manager. Our manager looked at me and apologized for a long time for her behavior of this woman, but she did not rebuke her or remove her from her role.
How can I get my colleague with this problem to understand that her behavior is toxic? I can’t change people, but how can I create a line between myself and this woman? How can you influence your boss, take this issue seriously, and foster a work environment where everyone is heard and respected?
– Anonymous
You are asking many questions here that have no satisfactory answer. You want a toxic person to see the mistakes in her way, but if she can do that, she won’t be so toxic. You have at least one person on your side because you want your new employee as an ally. You want your boss to listen to your concerns and act accordingly. You clearly feel isolated, which is understandable.
But what you want is, “How can I control people so they behave the way I want?” I don’t think it’s possible to just look, listen, and treat with respect. It is difficult for employees to join a company with which they have long-standing ties. The group does not appear to be particularly interested in welcoming new employees who are inherently tense.
It also seems that you joined this organization and immediately began to criticize their process without understanding the culture. It never justifies this woman’s behavior, but you may want to think of a more effective way to integrate with this new company. Boundaries will certainly be your best defense, as the only action you can control is your own. She limits her interaction. If she speaks to you rudely, she calls her and documents it.
Build a cooperative relationship with new employees. She doesn’t have to make her understand the toxicity of your colleagues. I’m sure it’s trivial. Play chess, not checkers. Your colleague is an obstacle you need to avoid until you find a way to get over her. We hope that you and your new colleague can build a more frictionless work relationship. Toxic work culture is unacceptable. You are more suitable.
