A crush is a healthy thing, so don’t overthink it. After all, if you really like this person, why not take a shot? The worst thing he can say is he’s not interested. Speaking of which, like I said, everything is possible. Good luck and do good to your heart.
blurry border
I work as tech support for a small asset management company. As the sole support person, people come to me with all their random requests. Recently, the CEO stopped by and handed me his iPhone that he wanted to wipe and restore. He then sent me a link to a spyware app that I wanted to install so no one could detect its presence. Wiping the phone was successful, but unfortunately I was unable to enable it.
I convinced him to take the phone to an Apple Store and have it activated. I can only assume this device is for his wife, knowing that his child is too young to have a cell phone. When he comes back with the phone, how should I handle this? Should I help him potentially spy on my wife or should I voice my objections Or should I say I did without installing it? But is he at risk of taking legal action against me?
— Henry, New York City
Your CEO seems to be asking you to do something illegal. Installing spyware on someone’s phone without their knowledge or permission is wiretapping. In New York, installing spyware on someone’s phone without their consent is linked to a number of crimes, including defacement of personal communications, unauthorized acquisition of communications information, and failure to report wiretapping.
You are in a terrible position here. Tell him you can’t install spyware as it would be considered wiretapping which is a felony. If he wants to spy on someone, he’ll have to watch a YouTube video or something to figure out how to do it, just like anyone else.
sisterly love and solidarity
I’m a woman in a male-dominated tech field. In my industry, we often work with academic researchers. A colleague introduced me to a professor who works at a prestigious university. She has the background and tools to tackle the research questions we focus on. During our meeting, she suggested some interesting, unique and insightful ideas.
I am thrilled to be working with her and I think she will be a great collaborator. After her first group meeting with her, two of these colleagues expressed their opinion that she was not a suitable collaborator for this project. They said they had recently met another (older, white, male) professor and, in comparison to him, thought she was not as curious as a scholar should be. I like working with professors who are
The professor I want to work with is a young woman of color, which is rare in our field. Implicit bias stands out. I have continued to express my support for working with her, but have not pointed out their biases for fear of backfire. How can I support this woman? I really enjoy my job, but I often face situations like this where I see prejudice against myself and others, and it can be exhausting. What should I do?
– Anonymous
The most important thing you can do is continue to speak out in support of this woman. If relevant, please provide evidence of why she is the perfect person for this collaboration. And sometimes, yes, point out your colleagues’ implicit biases. They may not accept being biased, but that’s their problem, not yours. Say they prefer to work with “more established professors” Sometimes what they’re saying is they prefer to work with someone they’re more comfortable with, someone like them.
