Health

In Light of Roe v. Wade Ruling, Men Share Their Abortion Stories

Two years ago, California software salesman Matthew Markman and his 20-week-pregnant wife learned that their son had a rare heart defect. If his wife carried the fetus to childbirth, he would be unlikely to survive after birth, their doctor told them.

The news was disastrous for Markman and his wife. They have been trying to give birth to babies for over a year and have used IVF multiple times. After three rounds of implantation, one embryo stuck, causing a miscarriage. This pregnancy was their fifth embryo. “My grandfather’s name started with E and he died recently, so they settled on the name Elijah,” said Markman, 37, who believes he supports the right to abortion. I did.

When the couple made the difficult decision to have an abortion, Markman said he was stronger at that moment of despair because his wife was the one carrying the fetus and had to undergo surgery. I felt that I had to be a person. They cremated the remains and spread ashes on Muir Beach, Northern California.

“It was a very difficult time emotionally, so I personally had to take a few months off from work,” he said. “It was a tough experience for me, but it took me a while to realize that it was okay.”

Another recurring theme of the male response I wrote in the Times was the belief that without abortion they would not be in place today.

There is a vast number of peer-reviewed studies linking access to abortion to women’s emotional, physical, and economic outcomes, including breakthroughs. Turnaway studyTracked women who had been denied an abortion for five years and found that they were more likely to live in poverty or be unemployed than women who were able to have an abortion. However, experts pointed out that very few researchers have investigated the long-term effects of abortion on men’s life trajectories.

One studyAccording to a 2019 Journal of Adolescent Health, men who had an abortion while attending college were more likely to have an abortion and earn more income than men who had an abortion. rice field.

Massachusetts 30-year-old engineer and two fathers, Nam Phan, said his wife had an abortion during a date because she helped a teenager eventually become a better parent. rice field. At the time, they didn’t feel financially well-equipped and mature enough to take care of their babies. “I don’t think either of us could take care of ourselves at that point,” he said.

Their first child, now five years old, also had an unplanned pregnancy, but when they learned about him, they felt much more prepared as parents. They graduated from college, settled down at work, got married, and were about to buy a house.

“It’s not lost to us that having children at the time has made a big difference in our lives,” he said.

When Kevin Barhit was 19, the woman he was looking at became pregnant. Soon he overcame “panic and immense horror.”

“There wasn’t a moment to’gee, let’s make a list of pros and cons,'” said Barhydt, now 60-year-old analyst and New York author. At that point, he was already raging in his life. He was abused, dropped out of high school, and suffered from alcoholism. They weren’t in a place to care for newborns, and he didn’t even have the money to pay for an abortion, he said.

Barhydt’s second abortion experience took place with another woman about a year later, when he was still working on addiction. He described that moment in his life as “terrible.”

“At that time, the idea of ​​having a child seemed insane,” he said.

Both abortions have moved him towards a “healing trajectory,” according to Barhydt. He went to college and found a stable job. He got married and had two sons, and he has been calm for over 30 years now. But those memories still hurt.

“Do you pray for forgiveness? Yes, that’s right,” Barhydt said. “Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to keep children? Yes. Do you regret the decision at that time? Nothing at all.”

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