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When a Woman’s Retirement Account Becomes the Family Emergency Fund

This includes one of Wall’s ex-clients who was heading for financial ruin because he emptied his severance pay account to help his daughter fight a custody dispute. “Often children don’t know what they’re doing to their parents’ financial future when they ask for money,” she said.

She added that parents may not have come to inform their children about the potential harm to their finances. “But if you’re in your late 50s or 60s, unless you’re ridiculously wealthy, you’ll dig into the money you’ve saved incredibly hard behind your own retirement,” Wall said. Said. “You won’t have time to get that money back.”

Girarducci advises women sandwiched between rocks and difficult places to maintain severance pay and sales when family needs arise. First, “take a deep breath,” she said. She then she realizes that her feelings about family ties come earlier than intentional decisions about her financial future. If meeting with a 401 (k) manager or financial adviser is not an option, she said, “Talk to a lot of people.” “It helps you get a perspective.”

Other solutions require systematic changes, many of which are cultural, but some are legal. Girarducci and Marcia Mantell, retirement consultants in Plymouth, Massachusetts, said: We needed to tighten the rules to prevent eavesdropping on our retirement account.

Before reaching a certain age, “I don’t think anyone should have access to their 401 (k) for some reason,” Mantel said. One of her own relatives advised Mr. Mantel to oppose her, but she said she borrowed from her account to pay the down payment for her home.

“I hate loan provisions,” she said. “I hate when there is special access to natural disasters. I know that it is sometimes the only savings for people, but retirement is too important to endanger.”

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